hmm, guess ill just somehow roughly summarize what happened the last 3 days..?
alright let me start with wednesday night. i totally couldnt sleep at all. was rolling on my bed throughout the whole night. total torturing. =/. all the way from 12am till 640am, time passed damn slow. sigh.
guess i got no choice but to wake up and prepare to go school alright then. had marketing paper on the next day thursday. the paper was alright. i SHOULD be able to pass. cause thats just how i am. one who always aim low. haha. then went over and ate with weijie and went back home le.
That was my one and only meal for the day =D! reached home, i was stoning staring at my laptop. visiting same websites over and over again. hoping for something to happen.
haha. all the way till like 4pm, i went over to NYP to meet the gang. attended their lecture haha. Watching that edmond and rosanne lovely dovey ><... aww so sweet. must be nice right =D... *im tired..* Hmm everyone headed over to AMK Hub, they were Edmond, Bear, Rosanne, Li Jian, Wei Bin and MEEEEEEEEE.
haha, met up at nebo. cause weibin said wanted to eat there. too bad ended up majority dont want to cause too expensive. slowly wasted our time, discussed and ended up we went to watch : Blood. which was at 755pm. decided at 710pm. we separated into 2 grps one to look for seats in food court other buy. lol yeah we found the seats. ended not eating at all. why? not enough time. everyone was real hungry hahaha.
then my dinner was the Nachos from the cathay =D.. oh well... After the movie, we went over to S-11 some wanted to eat. Then everyone started chit-chatting and joking around. scolding vulgarity in other languages they learnt... sigh.. at the point of time ever since i sat down at S-11, i got a feeling which i hate. really its kind of killing me. that hollow, emptiness feeling in my chest. oh man, felt like crying. and at that point of time, i was real tired.
sigh. finally the wanted to leave! why? cause its too late -__-. they dint know time flies. it was around 1045pm already.. yeah, finally we're on our way home, THEM but not me. i went to "accompany" rosanne "back" home. accompanied her to woodland only. =] dont worry okay?
then i went over to cck. i was kind of "worried" i wouldnt make it before 12. sigh. cause by the time i reached cck it was like 1135pm.. and i dint plan to take bus anyway. somehow i just dont feel like taking bus at all. so i went over to the toliet first and started walking towards her house... on the way there i was thinking, and thinking. somehow i guess whatever i thought of is right. nvm later. right adjusted my walking speed as i go on. headed over to 7-11 wanted to buy tissues, just in case. but in the end the never sell -__- wtf?
alright nvm. walked and walked.. somehow im feeling worse each step... i duno why. listening to my mp3 and singing out lol. time was running out you believe? some sort of rushing i did =x. haha... it been so long since i last went there. probably like 1month and er..2 weeks? xD dont ask me how i remember. thats just how i am. if i wanna remember something it will always be in my mind and heart lol. um..yeah.. if you asked me why am i going there? whats my purpose? simply because its her birthday. =].
but why dont i go earlier to give her the present? or the next day?
1) to me that wont be called birthday gift right? *although what i thought of came true =/..
2)cause i know somehow no one will be at home the next day so no point...
3)thats just how i am. =] willing to go out all hahaha~ my principal? guess so.
4)i can wait for someone as long as i can if that someone is special to me =D
yeah 1158 i finally reached her house. i was sweating like hell. yeah that emptiness was torturing me still! alright i tried to hang the present on the door, but it wont fit. *sigh* no choice but to put it on the metal gate. and sat on the stairs till 12am and sent her happy birthday =D!
yup friday, at 12am. i sent her the sms. and i sat at the 7.5 stairs =x. waited for her to open the door to take if shes at home. i was sweating all the way for quite long. see now you know why i need tissue =D... alright thats where the possibilities start. After 10 mins i started to think:
-if at home-
1) she dint have her HP with her. *which is kind of impossible knowing ppl will sure send happy birthday smses*
2)she dint bother to read my sms *which is quite possible? probably you will know later on?*
3)she was charging her phone so duno about my sms * which was impossible later~*
4)shes using comp and the HP is left in the living room.
alright nvm.. after 30mins of waiting, somehow that emptiness told me, shes not at home at all. outside clubbing with her bro. alright nvm waited again for awhile to confirm. yeah after 40mins of waiting guess im right.
-if outside-
1)she probably too busy at club till she dint bother to look at her HP *maybe? highly possible*
2)she dint bother with my sms *oh well :)*
then alright.. around 1245 i called her bro. the background was damn noisy. heard gals saying who is that? dont bother just kup or something. heard her bro said hello. wanted to reply but he straight kup. i was like -____-'''. then i cfm shes with him le. alright waited till 1255 i went up one floor.
why? cause i can peek into her house's kitchen =D. hahaha! sounds like im a stalker. oh well.. saw someone went into the kitchen. guess that could only be her mum~. haha after all the other 2 were outside. their father is working oversea. then yeah... at 1am, after 1 hour of waiting i called her home. *wondering how can i wait like this? dont ask me. all i can say as long as it concern her time sure flies =D* haha her mum picked up. the convo was like this?
M: wei?
BC: erm, aunty can come out take something?
M:take wad?
BC: erm present?
M: wad present?
BC: erm... yinyin's birthday present?
M: who are you?!?!?!
BC: oh er...Bing Cheng~
M: HUH? why are you here. What time you came???
BC: er.. *was thinking how to reply, skipped the first question xD*
BC: 12am?
M: where are you right now?
M:outside?
BC: no la i left the present outside
M: you are standing outside right now?
BC: no i left the present outside
M: then where are you right now?
BC: oh im studying *actually im still at the stairs la..*
M: huh? studying? right now? lols M: but yinyin not at home right now lei..
BC: er..yeah.. i know its okay =]
M: orh, okay then hao ba byebye..
BC: oh..byebye.
LOL weird convo...hahahaha after that i dint know what to do.. kind of dumb.. stoned for awhile so i decided to search for toliet =D. slowly walked over to sunshine place/plaza? cant remember ><. across the field. just nice after the climbed the stairs at the other side of the field, i recevied her sms. saying : My mum told me about the present. Thanks. Hmm now you know why i said she dint read my sms etc etc? lol.. sigh.. damn hurt on the inside, that she dun even give a damn to read, but what can i do? cry out?
lol hmm, yeah found the toliet, after that headed over to the fair price at the gas station and got 3 Nescafe Original at $3 =D. woo hehehe.. and i headed back to her voiddeck. cause i planned to study there for duno how long nia... tadaa tried to study, but i cant. i cant concentrate. damn... look at the paper it was too difficult i couldnt understand a single thing. and i gave up...
tadaaa my Nescafe which helped last me my time over there
since i couldnt do anything.. i slacked.. calling ppl to entertain me. then i sat there and slacked. its not working =/.. i was kind of sleepy.. oh well.. then i guess ill take a stroll back to sunshine place xD.. then started packing up my stuff... around 230am, i left the place.. well yeah.. i walked past the voiddeck..
i duno if i saw her or not, i got bad eyesight. probably not? idk.. its not mor then 2 sec that i looked at that direction.. >_>
hmm from then on i was walking all the way..back and forth xD.. hahaha... silly me... alright.. then finally decided to leave and go back home... so.. it was around 315am i left her voiddeck.. it was quiet.. and i was lonely.. well guess this phrase is so.. sigh.. so near yet so far. haha.. since i was bored.. i took some pictures xD somehow the uploading system isnt working -__-.. its kind of pissing me off... been waiting and waiting..
The road is long....
The road is still long............
The road is still LONG, after 10mins the road is STILL LONG, after 20mins finally i saw my destination : Lot 1 =D. so erm..yeah ard 340 i reached lot 1.. when i wanna hire a taxi there isnt one. when im walking theres damn alot!.. -__-..
Oh well finally got on the taxi... the uncle was entertaining me with his stories =D.. first talked about his own daughter.. sigh.. listening to someone is actually quite fun =] guess thats the best thing i can self-proclaim im good at =D!!!
then slowly ask me why you starting out till so late then go home.. i said birthday celebration lo... oh for your gf ar? yeah.. i suppose... haha ic.. well once in a year so its good to spend time with her..i was haha-ing there >_>... xD
then he went on and on about his past, how he worked fo different electronic companies.. the countries he went etcetc.. haha.. how different our generation is.. how the pricing of the stuff of his time and our time is.. wow.. lol....haha finally reached home at 4am! bath etc etc.. on my laptop till my hair dry =x.. hehe!! and im off to sleep.. well i couldnt -_- but at least barely able to sleep for an hour or two.. fuck.. nvm
woke up at 930 or so.. prepared and went to school.. reached school at 11 lol.. headed over to library.. and so started to study.. wow.. then i realised -__- i was looking at the wrong paper when i tried to study over at her voiddeck.. those were EOY papers -.-... wasted.. sigh.. haha. the paper was manageable i know i can pass but not score. i probably lost marks on theories although its open book test lol..
after that went home.. finally i can say HOLIDAY!!!!!!!! hahahaha weeeee sohappy.. im so tired.. but i want to nap.. but somehow i couldnt. so i just went out and run.. lol...yeah.. =D
P.S. At library i read a book When are you feeling Blues/Depression? lol.. hahaha.. quite a book... well.. probably wad im saying makes no sense but wadeva.. I wanna say this out on msn but i cant why? too long LOL, so im changing it fortnightly or something.. if you guys got keep track of my msn nick then good if not this is wad im saying:
"Current me is too filled with thoughts and emotions. These feelings of mine with no destination, where will they end up? Its just too much. But yeah i know one's wound wont heal fast and completely. Sigh, i dont want to stay as who i am currently anymore. Its been too long. If possible i want to let the blood be my tears the pain be my saddness. Once the blood stop flowing,once the pain stop hurting, ill be back up on my feet. But of cause i know its not gonna happen. So i want to let my sweat be my tears. Im giving myself sometime to sort all these emotions and thoughts out. Im wondering sometimes whether will she read my blog or not. I hope she did. Or at least this entry. I've been sort of relying on her for too long. Right now i want to be someone who she can rely on. I believe i can. For all her imperfectness ill cover it up for her :)"
HOHOHOHO Guys sorry. just wanna let it all out... i dun wanna bottled up all these anymore.. its way too much for me to handle all these alone. Well criticise me if you want, no Please say it out. Let me know so from there i can know where to counter my own weakness! i cant be perfect and no one is perfect. sigh...
Thats all folks~ thanks for your attention!
Bing Cheng signing off!
tadaaa my Nescafe which helped last me my time over there
The road is long....
The road is still long............
