well, ITS HOLIDAY PEOPLE!!! WOOHOOO WOWO ARRRR AHHHH ARGHHH WEEEE?!?!?! is this suppose to be the kind of response i have? sadly NO. I wonder why. right at the point of time when i got out of the exam hall, i duno what was this feeling that i got. Something just dont feel right, this kind of experience, this kind of feelings, this kind of emotion... i remember them so well... they're just repeating themselves over again.. let me just say its empty.. sigh.. i totally didnt know what to do.. from time to time nearly T_T again.. sigh...

For ytd's business stats paper, i totally blew it. Great i misplace variable X and Y when its so damn simple. i lost a total of 40 marks already. Great!

For Marketing paper, my ton actually helped! Im able to pass it probably even score abit =D. hehe!

For Organisational Behaviour, i cant make it. Same for stats i lost 40 marks. Great isnt it!

I guess ill have to prepare myself for 2 sup papers. Oh man.. This holiday i guess.. it will probably be the same as my previous holiday.

Hmm.. strange how dumb of me not to notice that even in this situation of mine. This hopeless pathetic one. I failed to realise that you're still close to me. Yeah despite how we are now. You are still so close to me inside my heart :). my my.. so smile smile gal!

From time to time, i may be just smiling, to hide away all my sadness, emotions, tears if it get tough. Well, theres certainly one place where i cant hide all these. Well guess you guys are smart to guess which part it is =].

Alright, i wonder what im supposed to do during this 6 weeks of holiday. Without you, im so lost. oh crap. headache, probably during one of these days ill take a trip down to clinic and see a doctor. for my never ending headache and chest pain lol.

Hmm.. Lets see, i decided to save up for something again, well doubt its for myself anyway. believe it will be rejected again. sigh. lets see... 1834 more to go! time to complete it is try by the end of this holiday.

Haha guys sorry about the randomness of this post =x.. just dint know whats going on in my mind.. so yeah.. alright going for some work interview later. sigh. Good luck to me!

-bing

♥ Friday, August 28, 2009

Hmm.. strange, why do i find myself crying at night. why do i find myself not being able to sleep at night. why do i find myself so vulnerable now. why do i find myself missing you much more then before. why do i find myself wanting to see you so badly. why do i find myself typing so many smses without any recipient. Oh great...

Whats up with me..





Ytd had my OB test. totally flunk it. lost 40marks straight. oh great. how hopeless can i be. how pathetic can i be. right now im studying for marketing. exam in 8hours and 30mins. right now its 1am. lol.. great. headache. how to focus. sigh wadeva la

♥ Wednesday, August 26, 2009

oh ah oh - big bang



Oh My baby - Big bang



i wonder wtf am i doing, i shld be studying for mkting right now.. yet im watching BB vids OMG.. im so gonna fail

♥ Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Today is the start of my sem 2.1 main exam. Sigh, i totally couldnt sleep at all. I went to bed ytd at 2am, i rolled and rolled till 7am. Yes a total of 5 hours.. can you imagine? lying there staring anywhere i could. It was a real torture... yeah right now is 740am. x-x, im tired but i cant sleep. right now im going to school without any sleep. wish me luck lol... how am i gonna survive without you =/.

Monday : 230 - 430 Organisational behaviour
Wednesday : 930 - 1130 Principal of Marketing
Thursday : 230 - 430 Business Statistic

Alright time to bath and go to school. Where are you when i needed you the most. This is crap. ARGH

GOOD LUCK ALL!

♥ Monday, August 24, 2009

Time for me to do a little updating on my boring plain life!..

alright lets see.. for the past 3 days.. yes i had been cabbing to school.. yeah i duno why im wasting my money when im still in some heavy debts ._... alright.. lets see..

let me start with Wednesday, 12 of aug, i totally overslept till 1110am till my groupmates called me to check on where the fuck i am.. i totally couldnt believe myself that i set the alarm at 910PM <<< YES PM DAMN IT.. woke up.. saw the clock.. i was like OMFG? then asked if i could pon the presentation but they said couldnt so.. i rushed.. finish everything and cab to school reach at like.. 1150am? lol.. hais.. went to school and had my presentation on OTBS woohoo FINALLY... its OVER... =D

alright the next day.. yet ANOTHER presentation.. this time its for the CDS.. formal wear. oh great..how long has it been since i last wore formal.. oh well.. my overall look was baggy but who cares i like it =D... lol.. lesson at 4 -_-... *trying to remember wad happened* hmm.. oh met tk at btl 1.. waiting for him to print and go eat lunch.. althou i ate at home alrdy.. yeah i cab to school lol.. then.. met everyone at library 8th floor.. haha.. slacking there trying to organise our slides and writing out on que card.. well..

headed for presentation..well.. as usual always late due to printing etc etc.. the presentation sucked totally =].. well.. as u guys know i cant speak well so yeah.. i totally ruined it i guess? teacher's comment for me.. "Comb your hair next time for your presentation" wow.. how cam i comb my hair teach me pls -___-.. yeah after that i got the real comment lol... dont be so laidback, it was average.. well then so be it lo.. at least i know how to improve.. and teacher sort of "forced" us to attend the Green Enterprise Compy.. with our sucky presentation LOL... yeah the compy is held the next day so yeah..

The BIG day, Friday 14 of Aug, The day for our presentation at HortPark.. Met tk library at 11. he was actually playing dota =x.. haha.. hmm after awhile started working on to improve our ppt.. hmm.. our presentation skills suck to the core.. thats the comment of the teacher.. we're in DEEP SHIT.. we're FISH.. these comments MOTIVATED us to PROVE that WE ARE capable.. ok nvm..

continue with my story.. then i go eat saw xiufeng chat with him awhile then go check our my coursegrade for marketing.. wow B.. impossible.. oh well.. headed back.. slacked in library till like 1? went to print out our proposal.. then cabbed down to HortPark.. the Whole journey cost $17?!?!?! oh great.. lol...

reached there.. looked around..the place is totally NEW to me.. never been there before.. just like the name mentioned.. its a PARK.. green trees, flowers etc etc everywhere lol.. went to our room and waited.. we're in Room 1 Team 3 to present, we're Team 7 to begin with. Hmm.. same as ytd i sucked.. i couldnt speak fluently.. fuck it.. fuck myself.. god.. hmm then waited and waited.. till the result release.. WOW one by one.. from consolation to top 3.. we're like OMG OMG.. from the 3rd place still not called till second still not called.. we're like.. WOW... we're actually the winner?!?!

We Bullshit Crapped our way through the whole event LOL.. we're actually first... WOOHOO.. well is this suppose to be the normal reaction..? well.. perhaps for others.. not me.. suddenly i duno what happened to me.. i cant be all happy all cheerful at all.. i duno.. probably because i couldnt share this "joy" with someone probably..? sigh.. all the way back school i was like.. emo-ing.. and the weather outside was so damn -___- it made me felt like crying out.. shessh..

alright fort he photo please look at my facebook!

thanks for your time =D

♥ Saturday, August 15, 2009

Ok i want you to take some time off and watch it. you know who you are. if you dont want its fine.

Younha - secret 486 =]


Here another big bang vid- Wonderful



Another vid Big bang - Heaven



Big Bang - Remember Eng Ver



Big Bang - Make Love

♥ Friday, August 07, 2009

wow.. i cant believe it.. right now im here in school.. Hmm lets see.. its 8.15am right now..

yup i tonned in school to do project-OTBS.. today's the submission.. sheessh...alright let see..

Hmm how should i start.. Alright yesterday, 6th of Aug, went to school 3+.. yeah had my CDS tutorial from 4-6.. a total failure.. god fuck it please.. lol.. after that stayed back to discuss our project for our entre. business plan.. haha.. guess im getting an ungraded pass for this module.. well cant help it nothing i can do... oh well..

then after that went to biz park to have our dinner.. guess i eatne QUITE alot.. lol.. so damn fking full.. haha.. then started doing OTBS from 8pm plus till right now? lol.. ok la.. i dint do much i was slacking most of the time.. >_>.. was at free access lab 3 doing till 10pm where the lab closes and we were being FORCED out =x.. haha..for the past four days we were staying in school, doing all the way till 10pm and getting forced out of the lab =x...

haha..yeah we were searching for a place to settle down.. walked from first floor to the fifth floor, to fourth floor back to second floor -.-... shessh... hahaha... yeah finally found a place outside LT22.. lol.. sat down everyone started working their ass and mind off this sickening project.. yeah as i said im slacking most of the time dint i? lol..

do ar do ar.. till 1+ the 8 of us : Teck Koon/Angeline/Eddy/Koh/Con/Rosanne/JinKang and MEEEE ordered mac lol.. came at 2 plus >_>.. eat until si bei song ar.. lol.. haha.. then we continued with out work.. i was scanning around the area.. looking at some of them makes me wanna cry lol.. i duno why.. hais..

yeah.. do and do.. somehow it seems like today the time really flies.. yes i mean FLIES.. without us knowing its 10pm and withouth us knowing its 2am and again without us knowing its 5am AND without me knowing its 7am and im all alone LOL.. all left and went back home.. hahaha.... yup right now im here blogging =D...

i doubt ill go home ba.. ill stay all the way till i end school today... right now.. im probably counted as no money ba.. wonder how am i gonna survive like this..

seriously suddenly when all left my whole body starts hurting and acting up.. totally sucks.. and chest hurt even more now..fuck.. screw this.. hais..

alright thats all peeps~

♥ Friday, August 07, 2009

sharing this with you, yeah.. enjoy it.. =]

Next day - Big Bang Seungri



Big Bang - GD Look only at me.



Big Bang - TaeYang Look only at me.



=]..

just a little update for the past 3 days.. been staying in school from morning all the way till 10pm >_>.. yeah.. doing OTBS project due this friday.. seriously... otbs sucks.. totally sucks i hate programming pls.. sigh.. every night i went out to jog.. yeah..well probably just a little too much on my mind.. sometimes i just needed some time alone.. althou i always am.. but somehow ya just here with me i duno why >_>.. hahah foolish me.. shessh..

yup thats all.. =]

♥ Thursday, August 06, 2009

hmm.. lets see.. just let this post be something totally random.. : )

wonder... since when.. have i been dragging my feet.. my whole body feels so heavy.. sigh.. its somewhat getting harder.. do i have the determination? will i have the confidence to do it? will i be able to follow what my heart? *shakehead* yeah just like wad jx told me.. "What else can you do other than being lanlan".. yeah wad can i do other than being lanlan and watch her from far. hahaha.. pathetic right.. like i said in my msn nick.. when night falls, everything.. every emotions just return back to square one.. haha... whats up with me.. shessh..

well thats all ppl =].. wonder what time will i sleep when its 12.17am now knowing i gotta wake up at 615am later.. hahaha...

damn this headache.. damn this pain im experiencing everyday in my chest....

:)) x3..

found the english version of last farewell~


nice nice sing along session~


Baby Im sorry

just wanna share this vid yeah.. hope you will view it :)

♥ Monday, August 03, 2009

Probably a Special post from Myself to Myself:

Bing Cheng, you got to STOP crying. No matter how tough it is, no matter how much you have bottled up all these times. You cannot cry. You have to stay strong. Its hard you know it yourself. You cannot allow yourself to cry anymore. You, yourself know this. There will be no one to lend you a shoulder to cry on, like how you experienced it just now. No one will be there for you when you need that someone to be there or any others. You know that you have to endure it no matter how tough the situation is. You may be there for others when they need someone to talk to or etc, but when it comes down to you, you got NO ONE, i repeat NO ONE to rely on. You got to stay strong! You have to pull it off somehow, you got to try your best not to breakdown like you did just now. You got to try or do your best to win her love back. Yes, it may be impossible looking at how the situation is currently right now. The result in the end may not be what you want, but at least tell yourself this " I tried to protect whats important to me, although the end may be the same being alone, at least i tried my best, and i will continue to do so. No matter what it takes, no matter how long it takes, after all thats just how i am".

Alright maybe to some of you this is stupid foolish. some of you might even say why dont you just give up, you're not worthy for her. some of you might even think this is childish or whatsoever. some of you might say you deserve it, its your retribution since you were hurting her so much. Allow me to say this, please keep the comments to yourself please. Please and thanks.

=] eyes pretty sore, real tired continuous of 2-3hrs of sleep a day for 3-4 days in a row >_>...
my throat is in pain right now i duno why.. for some reason when i sing it feels like it gonna cramp, i thought i was gonna cough out or vomit blood while i was singing just now, it was real painful >_>..





Alright let me get started with the post..

Barely had 2 hours of sleep yesterday. woke up at 650 went to bed at 430+.. yeah.. met up with sacchi perry at 745... headed over to school.. later met jx to return her something.. today is the most tiring day and the LONGEST day i ever had in school. i stayed in school for more then 12 hours straight.. was sort of doing OTBS project from 2+ all the way till 10. amazing right? yeah my chest was hurting whole day.. from time to time.. pain piercing me.. sometimes gotta take in deep deep breathes... i really wonder whats up with me.. sigh...

lol...seriously damn OTBS please.. im an IDIOT at programming.. sigh.. after that.. walked to McDonald to have a LITTLE chat with sacchi. then walked to my bus stop.. yeah almost my daily routine walking to bus stop after school.. reached home at 11 or so.. went out straight.. supposely the plan was to slack with edmond and jx.. sigh.. as expected edmond cfm wun go always no mood -__-.. yeah yeah.. then i went over to take harddisk from him.. and i went home.. reached home at like... 1220? went out straight after that to jog.. yeah.. finally i brokedown while jogging.. yeah.. totally unbearable.. its been so long.. i've been holding, surpressing myself.. but yeah.. ultimately i failed and there it goes.. i stood there.. at the same place for 1hr.. lol... ok thats all im gonna say..

this is shit man tml OTBS project again at 11 lol.. give us a break OTBS ya killing me.. although i slack the most.. SRY GROUP!...

<3 you =]

♥ Saturday, August 01, 2009