Probably a Special post from Myself to Myself:

Bing Cheng, you got to STOP crying. No matter how tough it is, no matter how much you have bottled up all these times. You cannot cry. You have to stay strong. Its hard you know it yourself. You cannot allow yourself to cry anymore. You, yourself know this. There will be no one to lend you a shoulder to cry on, like how you experienced it just now. No one will be there for you when you need that someone to be there or any others. You know that you have to endure it no matter how tough the situation is. You may be there for others when they need someone to talk to or etc, but when it comes down to you, you got NO ONE, i repeat NO ONE to rely on. You got to stay strong! You have to pull it off somehow, you got to try your best not to breakdown like you did just now. You got to try or do your best to win her love back. Yes, it may be impossible looking at how the situation is currently right now. The result in the end may not be what you want, but at least tell yourself this " I tried to protect whats important to me, although the end may be the same being alone, at least i tried my best, and i will continue to do so. No matter what it takes, no matter how long it takes, after all thats just how i am".

Alright maybe to some of you this is stupid foolish. some of you might even say why dont you just give up, you're not worthy for her. some of you might even think this is childish or whatsoever. some of you might say you deserve it, its your retribution since you were hurting her so much. Allow me to say this, please keep the comments to yourself please. Please and thanks.

=] eyes pretty sore, real tired continuous of 2-3hrs of sleep a day for 3-4 days in a row >_>...
my throat is in pain right now i duno why.. for some reason when i sing it feels like it gonna cramp, i thought i was gonna cough out or vomit blood while i was singing just now, it was real painful >_>..





Alright let me get started with the post..

Barely had 2 hours of sleep yesterday. woke up at 650 went to bed at 430+.. yeah.. met up with sacchi perry at 745... headed over to school.. later met jx to return her something.. today is the most tiring day and the LONGEST day i ever had in school. i stayed in school for more then 12 hours straight.. was sort of doing OTBS project from 2+ all the way till 10. amazing right? yeah my chest was hurting whole day.. from time to time.. pain piercing me.. sometimes gotta take in deep deep breathes... i really wonder whats up with me.. sigh...

lol...seriously damn OTBS please.. im an IDIOT at programming.. sigh.. after that.. walked to McDonald to have a LITTLE chat with sacchi. then walked to my bus stop.. yeah almost my daily routine walking to bus stop after school.. reached home at 11 or so.. went out straight.. supposely the plan was to slack with edmond and jx.. sigh.. as expected edmond cfm wun go always no mood -__-.. yeah yeah.. then i went over to take harddisk from him.. and i went home.. reached home at like... 1220? went out straight after that to jog.. yeah.. finally i brokedown while jogging.. yeah.. totally unbearable.. its been so long.. i've been holding, surpressing myself.. but yeah.. ultimately i failed and there it goes.. i stood there.. at the same place for 1hr.. lol... ok thats all im gonna say..

this is shit man tml OTBS project again at 11 lol.. give us a break OTBS ya killing me.. although i slack the most.. SRY GROUP!...

<3 you =]

♥ Saturday, August 01, 2009